” Them is fake. Fake, fake, fake fuckers. Excuse me. You see how the three of them just slipped into church like they walking in a funeral march? Clutching them bibles and them notes? Girl, them so fake makes my blood boil. I don’t wish anything bad on anybody but God don’t like evil and them some evil motherfuckers. Excuse my language child. I get worked up every time I see any of the three of them. You see a few years ago, that tall one passed by here asking if I want her to sit with me and read the bible. I wasn’t doing anything so I said, ‘why sure honey. Come on in.’ You should have seen how she was looking around in here, trying to find something bad to land her eyes on so she can tell me that I doing wrong in the eyes of the Lord. But she didn’t find anything, and so she got started telling me God don’t like the wicked, like them two fellas two blocks over that live together. Chile, you know that got me started. I asked her then if God didn’t like all his children, and she said, ‘of course he does.’ So then I had to ask her who created the wicked. She is going to sit here and tell me that he might have created them; might now, but he didn’t tell them to go do no sin. And she said, ‘ the bible says God don’t like no sinners.’ So I playing foolish now, you know my Daddy was a preacher. Anyhow, I asked her if she could tell me what is a sin. Well, my girl just was sitting there proud as punch, cause she was gonna give this old heathen some religion.
Well, she start with Cain and Abel, had me wondering which soap opera she been watching, but I held my mouth. Then she comes to the 10 commandments, and her voice droning on, and on, like a old hedge clipper. I near nod off. I hear her counting down the numbers and when she finished explaining the last one of not wanting what is your neighbours, I sat up. I turned to her and I asked her how she know what they doing in that house. She looked at me funny then, trying to figure out where I stood on the matter. She had come with a agenda you see, so she sings out, ‘everybody knows what they do.’ That’s when she started rolling her eyes to the door. Truthfully I thought she was going to start speaking in tongues. For real. She almost seemed to tremble and get in the power, but she was just trying to point with her eyes to them down the street. Then I asked her what she would do with them. Girl, I know she must fashion herself a school teacher or something, but I know she works down at the grocery store in the back, God only knows what she does back there. Anyway, she sat up straight and smiled. Not a real smile you know, a church smile which can’t show teeth I guess. Must be something indecent about spreading your lips. Chile, she sat right here and said in my face that she would bring him to the cross. The way she had said him made me think she was talking about the light skinned Hispanic one. He is a real good looking boy now, with those green eyes he got. Chile, her eyes lit up. She couldn’t help herself and she quickly said,’ yes him too.’ She then went on to tell me how she would bring him to the doors of Calvary and teach him the ways of the church.
Now mind you, all this time she hadn’t mentioned the other guy; he is short and thick with a real tight ass like a woman. He is not much of a looker though you can’t help but look at him the way he goes flying down the street like he on roller skates, but I said nothing. I was watching her talk about the Spanish boy. When she finally stopped talking I said, ‘you seem stuck on them two fellas, so I think it’s best you take your sermon there.’ I had had enough of her and her pompous ways, so I got up to show her the door. I could tell she was angry, but she was a church lady now and had to maintain herself. Hahaha. Well, when she was outside I asked her if she remembered that last commandment. She spun around like if she had won me over, and said, yes. ‘You should not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour.’ Then I said, ‘no not the Jewish 10 commandments, the ones from Deuteronomy which say, you should not covet your neighbour’s manservant, nor his ass.’ That is when I rolled my eyes in the direction of the two homosexuals. I left her standing there and went back inside to watch my program, Days of Our Lives. “
© Copyright 2014, Susan M. Wolfe.~All Rights Reserved
24-04-2014, The Ten Commandments-Monologue
LOL 🙂
This is awesomely written and had me laughing in no time, you can certainly write Susi, and bloody brilliantly too, pardon the swearing, but it’s true. Have a fantastic Thursday and keep adding to your fine array of artistic offerings. When is your next book out by the way, I mean you just have to be a best selling author with your incredible talents 🙂 If not now, you will be in the near future…
Andro xxx
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You just made my day!!! It is hard getting, and then impossible getting them to even leave a little comment of encouragement. You have done both, and I am thrilled. Thanks love…glad you enjoyed “her.”
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I enjoyed my visit greatly, you are a fine writer that adds such a realistic energy to your work, a creativity that shines and I will continue to call in and read your stories and poems.
I might be a little bit sporadic as I am not writing or posting very much in WP at the moment, but don’t think that I will abandon you because I won’t.
Today I am simply catching up with peeps and adding a few replies here and there, with a view of returning to WP in the near future.
Have a lovely Monday Susi 🙂
Andro xxx
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You sweet thing you…thanks Dro.
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I have been taking a bit of time out from G+ over the weekend and I don’t think that I will be on this week very much either, I am swamped with work so if I am not commenting before Thursday (here and on G+) then don’t be thinking that I have forgotten you, I haven’t, and I will be taking a look at all of your postings 🙂 You are such a versatile writer Susi and have a wonderful way of expression. Hey keep writing, have lots of fun doing so and enjoy the rush 🙂 I always do…
Have a happy start
to your Monday Susi 🙂
Andro xxx
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Hey! On that note….I have something to write!!! I’ve been taking a break from writing and working on some of my artistic endeavours…it helps to clear my mind of all the mumbo jumbo…I have also taken a G+ break, so don’t worry, I’m not there to see what is going on either. Have a fantastic week G.D.. Will look for you later on in the week. 🙂
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I will be calling back next Thursday to read more and
to backtrack further through your previous postings. In
the meantime have lots of fun and enjoy everything my
sweet friend 🙂
Andro xxx
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