I am the lover,
The polygraph will soon discover.
He’s been cheating, so here comes the strife.
Somebody is pregnant, and it isn’t the wife.
Pointing fingers-now isn’t that fun,
Not really, coz this cop carries a gun.
Up on stage- oh how cute,
Out comes another in a wig and tutu.
Who is this person, they collectively gasp?
Why he’s the wife’s brother; the audience raucously laughs.
What is his mission up here on TV?
He came to tell them that the real lover is he.
He cries he’d met him before they were wed,
But their first time was on his sister’s matrimonial bed!
They aaahed and they boooed the cop’s been disgraced.
The wife is so angry, she spits in his face.
The brother and sister begin a big fight,
And the wig came off to the audience’s blood thirsty delight.
The husband throws his hands up, he’s got something to say,
“Jerry, I’ve done wrong, and I regret it today.
But that person just told such a big lie.”
“Yes I have a lover, and today that I can no longer hide
“But she’s a woman. She’s pregnant, with my baby.
So you know what Jerry? I’ll ask her if she’ll marry me.”
The brother is quiet, he knows really soon
What the secret camera reveals in the Green room.
Hours of passion when the cop was on call
Unsuspectingly the cop begs the brother to take the fall
On tape now he’s pleading, “This isn’t the way
To tell my wife, your sister that we’re both gay.”
“But what about the girl?” the poor brother pleads
The cop shrugs, “She’s beautiful, but she means nothing to me.”
The brother leans back and lets out a tired sigh
He knows all the ‘I love you’s’ will now be denied.
The mob goes crazy when I come on the stage
The wife jumps up in an awful rage
They scream and they shout, “You’re just trailer trash.”
But I’ll tell my story for some hard American cash.
The cop pulls out a ring; now isn’t this grand?
He looks me in the eye and takes my left hand
The wife screams, “F*ng fool. Don’t you know what people say?”
“Why not just wait for the results of the D. N. A?”
Then the brother ran forward and said, “Y’all don’t understand.”
I may wear a dress, but I’m still quite a man.
That girl has been known to sleep around,
And heck she’s done just about everyone in our town.”
“But look at this beauty, she makes that man’s heart ache
Yet, Jerry, I know it’s time for me to step up to the plate.”
The audience and the cop are quiet, overcome with shock
The brother pulls off the tutu and grabs at his c(rotch.)
The results are back, the brother got the 99 percent
Jerry Springer on TV, time well spent.
© Copyright 2013-Susan M. Wolfe~All Rights Reserved
May 15, 2013 /Jerry Springer